kindest words.

laurie;
oh my dear.
thank you love.
for that song.
and for you're encouraging words.
it kept my chin up and face the world and my problems.
even though you're so far away.
you're still a part of my life.

thats why i should say thank you.
for helping.
for those kind words.
for being a friend.
for being an angel sent by God.

i love you.
even though we're not close.
its really nice to know that you're there for me.

and thank you for not judging.

sheryl;
thank you love.
i really hope you know that i miss you.
alot.
and i swear i'm not a lesbian.
and go to school together.
you should know that i can't have lunch.
dinner maybe.
and shopping with our pay!
i love you dear.
you're still the love of my life.


i'm not going to be cynical.
but this is true.
i know you're trying to be optimistic.
but think about it.
how long?
how long can you hold on and not break?
how long can you keep waiting?
how long can you be numb and miserable.
how much longer are you going to cry to yourself.
i'm trying to be a friend to you.
thats why i keep from saying what i think.
what i feel.
so as not to spoil anything.
can i tell you what i feel?
i just feel that i should.
as a friend, to let you see both sides.
it seems that your best friend is helping a whole lot.
so maybe i'll keep this to myself.
and thats all i'm going to say.

i don't want history to repeat itself and spoil everything.
cause i don't want to give you a reason not to trust me.
i want this to be one of the things i've done right.

i'm not saying that you can't be optimistic.
but not to a point where you're deceiving yourself.
i won't allow that.
cause if it comes to that.
i'm willing to risk this friendship.
you know that i will do this when i have to.

i haven't got much left to live for anyway.

are you going to wait until the end of time.
what if that is not the one God has chosen for you?
are you going to close yourself up and be blind?
and not see the rest of the world?

as much as i still love you.
as much as i'm willing to do what you're doing now.
wait.
i'm not.
cause i'm not holding on anymore.
for a very basic reason.
and i'm not ruling other people out.
i'm willing to give it a shot.
give others a shot.
and you still mean something thats why i try to be there for you.

the reason why you rock shitloads.
is because you're always there for me no matter what.
and you've suffered cause of it.
now i want to be there for you.
like i always was.
but are you willing to let me?
thats what i want to know.
maybe you can be the one to tell me.
and when i have the answer.
i can do my things properly.

and don't give me the rubbish that i'm not the ready one.
your bloody head.
if you want me there.
then tell me.
then say it.
if not.
let me know.
and i'll leave you alone.
and as far away as possible.

i'm not the unhappy one.

what happened.
the emo shits.
happened.
and i told you the reason why.

if i've never given you a reason.
then why?
it simply feels that you aren't trusting me one bit.

i'll wait for your decision.
but i can only wait for so long.
i'm not blindly in love with you anymore.
so i won't wait stupidly until the end of eternity or something.
i'll only wait until the limit.

like pet always said.
you're mine as much as i am yours.
what she meant was.
i should be willing to give as much as you would give.
if you would give me your trust.
i would give you mine.
if you would give me your friendship.
i will give you mine.
if you would give me your love.
i will give you mine.
what ever you put into this.
i'll put in just as much.
i hope you get what i mean.